Jokes

[taylor]

heres some cruel jokes that i found highly entertaining

did you hear about the man that walked into a glass making machine?

he made a right spectacle of himself

;D

but waits theres more..

have you heard the joke about the brick wall?

you'll never get over it.

oh how highly entertaining... anyone else got any jokes they wish to share?

[Aboxorox]

lol, quite funny after reading each of them 3 or 4 times. I can't think of any funny ones at the momment but I have the stupidest one I have ever heard (cross breed between riddle and joke, yet a very poor attempt)

What do you call a Fly who can't fly.

A Walk.

Umm yeah, its that bad

[addicted2rpg]

I float on water, and from front to back I am the same. Come to think of it, so is my name. What am I?


























Give up yet?































Going to cheat eh?
























kayak

[Phoenix]

A seal walks into a club.
*rimshot*

[Lumix]

LOL Phoenix!! ;D
*wipes tear*... why am I finding these so funny? HAHHAHAHA!

-Lumix

[serpitus]

One for the british around us.

Addicted2RPG: I guessed "Bob" as in fishing bobber. Oh well, you got me.


An american on a train is looking for a seat
He finds a lady with her dog occupying 2 and asks politely
"Mame ya'll wouldn't mind settin' that pup on your'n lap so as I can set a spell?"

The snobbish brit replies,"Surely my little one has as much right as you, NO!"

At this point the Texan grabs the dog and tosses it out the moving trains window, and sits down.

As he glances across the isle I Gentleman poses,

"You yanks do every thing backwards! You drive on the wrong side of the street, you sit on the wrong side of the car, and YOU *pointing at the texan* threw the wrong B1tch out the window" ;D

[serpitus]

Now for the Riddle part of our show.
Question:

A bull has 2
A cow has 0
A girl has 1
A boy has none

What am I?



















Keep thinking!












It's not that hard










You cheating?


Answer:
The letter "L"

edit: OK I screwed up and typed 1 the first time on Cow. Think of it as more challenging that way ;D

[Silentus]

Ummm, I may be dense, but how does a cow have 1 'L'? Maybe you meant a calf...

edit: BTW, I loved the train and seal jokes! (and got the kayak without looking, but I do some kayaking, so its kinda like chatin'

[RPerSM]

taylor said:

heres some cruel jokes that i found highly entertaining

did you hear about the man that walked into a glass making machine?

he made a right spectacle of himself

;D

but waits theres more..

have you heard the joke about the brick wall?

you'll never get over it.

oh how highly entertaining... anyone else got any jokes they wish to share?

sometimes i wont be able to understand you taylor

heres a quick joke, that i spent almost 50 seconds thinking of... Not really a joke

I wear a mask, white and red, I hold a knife, ready to kill, I work at a circus, I scared the crowd, and my costume was bloody. What am I?








Yeah...





*coughs*












You know you're wasting my spaces









Clown
Happy now? You cheated on the answer didnt you?

[Fazroth]

I get a lot of jokes in my e-mail, so I thought I'd pass it along ;D

Eight Words with two Meanings

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female......Any part under a car's hood.
Male..........The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female......Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male.........Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female......The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's
partner.
Male..........Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with
the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female.......A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...........Trying not to hit on other women while out with this
one.

5.. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female......A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male..........Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female......An Embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male..........A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

7. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female......The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male..........Call it whatever you want just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.......A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male...........A device for scanning through all 375 channels.

[Fazroth]

Texas Salesmen

A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job.

The manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?"

The kid says, "Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas."

Well, the boss liked the kid so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."

His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many sales did you make today?"

The kid says, "One."

The boss says, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day.
How much was the sale for?"

The kid says, "$101,237.64."

The boss says, "$101,237.64? What the hell did you sell?"

Kid says, "First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down at the coast, so I told him he was gonna need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him that twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4X4
Blazer."

The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and truck?"

Kid says, "No, he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife and I said, 'Well, your weekend's shot, you might as well go fishing!"

[Cain Thuryn]

Sometimes this is so true, whether married or not!

A man stopped at his favorite watering hole after a hard days work to relax. He noticed a man next to him ordered a shot and a beer. The man drank the shot, chased it with the beer and then looked into his shirt pocket. This continued several times before the man's curiosity got the best of him. He leaned over to the guy and said, "Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice your little ritual, why in the world do you look into your shirt pocket every time you drink your shot & beer"? The man replied, "There's a picture of my wife in there, and when she starts lookin' good, I'm headin' home"!

I got tons of em'

Later

[Earil (b_r80)]

this is old and not really funny but its here

wanna see something funny?



look in the mirror


ok ok another

two guys walk into a bar. why didnt the other one duck