Post by Shwabba on Jan 12, 2004 8:08:01 GMT
OOC: I figured it was time to properly introduce Kyrk to the world at large. Please note that this is not his entire or detailed history, but a synopsis of some of the formative events of his life. If you want to know more, you have to ask him Also, this is quite long. Sorry, but I get carried away in my storytelling sometimes ;D
A young boy sits at his desk in the West Styne schoolhouse, idly doodling on a piece of parchment. The building is empty except for him and no sound can be heard save the scritching of quill on parchment. Suddenly, the school door bursts open and a giant figure in rusted armor ducks his head under the doorway and strides into the room. The boy watches mutely as the figure shoulders a giant, flaming greataxe and stands just inside the doorway, surveying the room. When his gaze falls on the young boy, the man nods to himself and walks slowly toward him. Upon reaching the boy's desk, the man stops, leans the greataxe against his leg and removes his helmet, revealing a bald, disfigured head.
"Fergit yer book again, Holan?" the man smirks.
The young boy sticks his tongue out at the large man. "Yeah, so what? At least *I* remember my name."
A frown crosses over the large man's deformed features. His sloping brow slopes further down, nearly concealing his dim, grey eyes completely as they dart back and forth, seemingly searching for something. The crooked nose, too many times broken, crinkles even further and the thick, chapped lips move uncertainly as if silently trying on different words.
"Ey, I knows my own name...it's ehhhhhhhhhhhhh....." The man blinks a few times then glances slyly around the room to make certain no one is looking, then bends down and whispers hoarsely to the boy, "Ey, Holan, what's my name again?"
The young boy covers his eyes with his hand and shakes his head. With an irritable sigh, Holan looks at the man and says, "You're name is Kyrk the Jerk."
Kyrk brightens visibly and gives Holan a big, gap-toothed smile. "DAT'S RIGHT!! I'm KYRK DA JERK!!"
Holan snickers quietly to himself as Kyrk's smile slowly fades into a confused frown.
"Eyyyyyy, waitaminute...I ain't no jerk!"
At this Holan bursts into laughter. Kyrk frowns at the boy and scratches his butt thoughtfully.
"All right, fine. Be dat way, ya runty lil goblin. Yer mudder sent me ta make sher youse wuz doin yer work an not goofin off. Since yer bein a lil snot, youse gotta do me a favor or I'll go tell yer mudder youse wuz foolin' 'round." Kyrk's face twists into an evil grin as Holan slumps defeatedly in his chair.
"Whatever, you big galoot. Whattayou want?"
"I want youse ta write me a story"
Holan raises his eyebrows and looks doubtfully at Kyrk. "What kind of story?"
Kyrk's lopsided, gap-toothed smile returns. "One 'bout me!"
The boy shakes his head and shrugs his shoulders. "I don't know any about you."
Kyrk rolles his eyes and heaves an exaggerated sigh. "'Course youse don't, I ain't told ya yet! Now hush up an write down da stuffs I sez."
Holan mutters to himself as he prepares a new sheet of parchment. Kyrk pulls up another chair and plops down into it, laying his greataxe across his lap.
"Okey Dokey den. Dis here's my story. I groweded up in a lil house in dese woods outside o' dis place called ShadyDale, or sumtin like dat. My mudder an my pa wuz so happy in luv dat dere wuzn't a day went by dat she didn' give pa a lovin crack on da head wit' her skillet. My brudders an me wuz happy, cuz pa let us help 'im chop down da trees durin da day, an mudder would lovin'ly beat us ta sleep each night. Ahhh, dems wuz good times, good times." Kyrk sighs happily in his reverie and nods to himself as Holan simply stares at him in mute horror. Kyrk's smile slowly fades and is replaced by a mournful frown.
"But den one day, pa an' mudder wuz havin one o' their lil luv spats an mudder clean knocked pa's head off'n his shoulders. Well, my brudders an me figgered dat wuz bout 'nuff o' dat, so we'z went an' whackitated mudder. She wuz a tough ol' bird, too. Took us bout two hours ta finally take 'er down. An by den, she done gutted Myke an tore Tym clean in two." Kyrk rubs his eyes and wipes his nose on the back of his gauntlet.
"So, ehhhh, anyways, where wuz I? Oh yah, well, after we'z went an buried our mudder an' our brudders, me, Ryk, Eryk an' Myky went our seperate ways. I stuck 'round ShadyDale fer a while. Since pa wuz gone, somebody had ta do da lumberjackin, ya know? But den some elfys got all mad at me so I had ta leave town. Still don' know what da big deal wuz. I mean, I never woulda whackitated dat horse if'n it hadn't kept pokin me wit' it's stupid horn." Kyrk shrugs."Oh well, who can unnerstand dem elfy-types anyhoo?"
"Well, after dat, I wandered 'round a bit, doin odd jobs here an' dere. I finally settled down in dis Biiiiiiiiig place called....ehhhhhh... Deep-sumtin.....ehhhhh DeepHole? DeepWell? DeepWater? Yah, I tink dat's it! DeepWater! Or ehhh sumtin like dat. So while I wuz dere I worked fer da Watch fer a while. Den I wuz workin fer dese fellas dat I wuz s'pose ta arrest, but dey gave me a ton o' shinys ta work fer dem. I got ta learn some neat stuffs down on da docks workin wit dat crew. Dey wuz some Sneaky Petes, I'll say dat fer 'em! After a while, da Watch found out who I wuz workin fer, an dey decided ta pay me even more ta work fer da Watch again, an' ta turn in da udder fellas. Well, Money's Money, dat's what da sneaky fellas usedta say, so I figgered dey'd understand. Heh. Boy, wuz I wrong! Next ting I knows, I wakes up in chains on a slave galley! Dem sneaky petes done sold me in my sleep! Well, Money's Money, so I didn' blames 'em fer it, but fer five years I wuz da slave o' dis crazy dorfy. He purdy much ran da slave trade in dis place called Skullport. 'E sold all da rest o' da slaves, but 'e kept me 'round like some sorta trophy, or sumtin. Ain't many peoples I can say dis 'bout, but I hates dat dorfy. Da tings he done did ta me...." Kyrk trails off as he gnashes his teeth. His knuckles turn white as he grips his greataxe tightly. "I'll jus' say 'e beddur hope 'e don' never wind up here. It'd be da shortest stay in history. " Kyrk levels his gaze at Holan and looks him in the eyes as he speaks. "Bein' a slave's jus' bout da worst ting in da world. Youse ain't not even human no more. Yer jus' anudder dum animal ta sell an trade. Takin' away a man's right ta be a man is da lowest ting any coward ever done. Youse 'member dat, kid."
Holan nods dumbly and fumbles with his pen. Seeing the child's expression, Kyrk forces himself to smile and continue with his story.
"So, ehhhhhhh anyways, I finally figgered out a way ta escape when he wuzn't lookin'. Once I wuz outta his house I jus' kept runnin' fast as I could. Da dorfy sent out huntin parties ta bring me back, an one o' 'em almost catcheded me, but I found one o' dem portals dat's always poppin up outside o' Skullport. I figgered whatever wuz on da udder side couldn't be worse dan bein a slave again, even if it lead straight ta da Nine Hells it woulda been beddur! So I tooked a deep breath an' jumped on in. Next ting I knows, I'm layin on da ground outside dis here buildin'. An' da rest is.....ehhhhh well, da rest is anudder story." Kyrk grins at Holan and ruffles his hair playfully. "I gots ta get goin, kiddo." Kyrk places his helmet back on his head and hefts his greataxe.
Holan watches as the large man turns and heads toward the door. "Um, hey, Kyrk? Will you tell my mom that I'm done with my work? I wanna go play."
Kyrk stops at the door, chuckles and says over his shoulder just before stepping through the doorway, "Hehehe I tinks youse can go play now kiddo. Yer mudder's gonna be busy fer awhile. I jus' dropped off 'er package from da Dockmaster's Office."
A young boy sits at his desk in the West Styne schoolhouse, idly doodling on a piece of parchment. The building is empty except for him and no sound can be heard save the scritching of quill on parchment. Suddenly, the school door bursts open and a giant figure in rusted armor ducks his head under the doorway and strides into the room. The boy watches mutely as the figure shoulders a giant, flaming greataxe and stands just inside the doorway, surveying the room. When his gaze falls on the young boy, the man nods to himself and walks slowly toward him. Upon reaching the boy's desk, the man stops, leans the greataxe against his leg and removes his helmet, revealing a bald, disfigured head.
"Fergit yer book again, Holan?" the man smirks.
The young boy sticks his tongue out at the large man. "Yeah, so what? At least *I* remember my name."
A frown crosses over the large man's deformed features. His sloping brow slopes further down, nearly concealing his dim, grey eyes completely as they dart back and forth, seemingly searching for something. The crooked nose, too many times broken, crinkles even further and the thick, chapped lips move uncertainly as if silently trying on different words.
"Ey, I knows my own name...it's ehhhhhhhhhhhhh....." The man blinks a few times then glances slyly around the room to make certain no one is looking, then bends down and whispers hoarsely to the boy, "Ey, Holan, what's my name again?"
The young boy covers his eyes with his hand and shakes his head. With an irritable sigh, Holan looks at the man and says, "You're name is Kyrk the Jerk."
Kyrk brightens visibly and gives Holan a big, gap-toothed smile. "DAT'S RIGHT!! I'm KYRK DA JERK!!"
Holan snickers quietly to himself as Kyrk's smile slowly fades into a confused frown.
"Eyyyyyy, waitaminute...I ain't no jerk!"
At this Holan bursts into laughter. Kyrk frowns at the boy and scratches his butt thoughtfully.
"All right, fine. Be dat way, ya runty lil goblin. Yer mudder sent me ta make sher youse wuz doin yer work an not goofin off. Since yer bein a lil snot, youse gotta do me a favor or I'll go tell yer mudder youse wuz foolin' 'round." Kyrk's face twists into an evil grin as Holan slumps defeatedly in his chair.
"Whatever, you big galoot. Whattayou want?"
"I want youse ta write me a story"
Holan raises his eyebrows and looks doubtfully at Kyrk. "What kind of story?"
Kyrk's lopsided, gap-toothed smile returns. "One 'bout me!"
The boy shakes his head and shrugs his shoulders. "I don't know any about you."
Kyrk rolles his eyes and heaves an exaggerated sigh. "'Course youse don't, I ain't told ya yet! Now hush up an write down da stuffs I sez."
Holan mutters to himself as he prepares a new sheet of parchment. Kyrk pulls up another chair and plops down into it, laying his greataxe across his lap.
"Okey Dokey den. Dis here's my story. I groweded up in a lil house in dese woods outside o' dis place called ShadyDale, or sumtin like dat. My mudder an my pa wuz so happy in luv dat dere wuzn't a day went by dat she didn' give pa a lovin crack on da head wit' her skillet. My brudders an me wuz happy, cuz pa let us help 'im chop down da trees durin da day, an mudder would lovin'ly beat us ta sleep each night. Ahhh, dems wuz good times, good times." Kyrk sighs happily in his reverie and nods to himself as Holan simply stares at him in mute horror. Kyrk's smile slowly fades and is replaced by a mournful frown.
"But den one day, pa an' mudder wuz havin one o' their lil luv spats an mudder clean knocked pa's head off'n his shoulders. Well, my brudders an me figgered dat wuz bout 'nuff o' dat, so we'z went an' whackitated mudder. She wuz a tough ol' bird, too. Took us bout two hours ta finally take 'er down. An by den, she done gutted Myke an tore Tym clean in two." Kyrk rubs his eyes and wipes his nose on the back of his gauntlet.
"So, ehhhh, anyways, where wuz I? Oh yah, well, after we'z went an buried our mudder an' our brudders, me, Ryk, Eryk an' Myky went our seperate ways. I stuck 'round ShadyDale fer a while. Since pa wuz gone, somebody had ta do da lumberjackin, ya know? But den some elfys got all mad at me so I had ta leave town. Still don' know what da big deal wuz. I mean, I never woulda whackitated dat horse if'n it hadn't kept pokin me wit' it's stupid horn." Kyrk shrugs."Oh well, who can unnerstand dem elfy-types anyhoo?"
"Well, after dat, I wandered 'round a bit, doin odd jobs here an' dere. I finally settled down in dis Biiiiiiiiig place called....ehhhhhh... Deep-sumtin.....ehhhhh DeepHole? DeepWell? DeepWater? Yah, I tink dat's it! DeepWater! Or ehhh sumtin like dat. So while I wuz dere I worked fer da Watch fer a while. Den I wuz workin fer dese fellas dat I wuz s'pose ta arrest, but dey gave me a ton o' shinys ta work fer dem. I got ta learn some neat stuffs down on da docks workin wit dat crew. Dey wuz some Sneaky Petes, I'll say dat fer 'em! After a while, da Watch found out who I wuz workin fer, an dey decided ta pay me even more ta work fer da Watch again, an' ta turn in da udder fellas. Well, Money's Money, dat's what da sneaky fellas usedta say, so I figgered dey'd understand. Heh. Boy, wuz I wrong! Next ting I knows, I wakes up in chains on a slave galley! Dem sneaky petes done sold me in my sleep! Well, Money's Money, so I didn' blames 'em fer it, but fer five years I wuz da slave o' dis crazy dorfy. He purdy much ran da slave trade in dis place called Skullport. 'E sold all da rest o' da slaves, but 'e kept me 'round like some sorta trophy, or sumtin. Ain't many peoples I can say dis 'bout, but I hates dat dorfy. Da tings he done did ta me...." Kyrk trails off as he gnashes his teeth. His knuckles turn white as he grips his greataxe tightly. "I'll jus' say 'e beddur hope 'e don' never wind up here. It'd be da shortest stay in history. " Kyrk levels his gaze at Holan and looks him in the eyes as he speaks. "Bein' a slave's jus' bout da worst ting in da world. Youse ain't not even human no more. Yer jus' anudder dum animal ta sell an trade. Takin' away a man's right ta be a man is da lowest ting any coward ever done. Youse 'member dat, kid."
Holan nods dumbly and fumbles with his pen. Seeing the child's expression, Kyrk forces himself to smile and continue with his story.
"So, ehhhhhhh anyways, I finally figgered out a way ta escape when he wuzn't lookin'. Once I wuz outta his house I jus' kept runnin' fast as I could. Da dorfy sent out huntin parties ta bring me back, an one o' 'em almost catcheded me, but I found one o' dem portals dat's always poppin up outside o' Skullport. I figgered whatever wuz on da udder side couldn't be worse dan bein a slave again, even if it lead straight ta da Nine Hells it woulda been beddur! So I tooked a deep breath an' jumped on in. Next ting I knows, I'm layin on da ground outside dis here buildin'. An' da rest is.....ehhhhh well, da rest is anudder story." Kyrk grins at Holan and ruffles his hair playfully. "I gots ta get goin, kiddo." Kyrk places his helmet back on his head and hefts his greataxe.
Holan watches as the large man turns and heads toward the door. "Um, hey, Kyrk? Will you tell my mom that I'm done with my work? I wanna go play."
Kyrk stops at the door, chuckles and says over his shoulder just before stepping through the doorway, "Hehehe I tinks youse can go play now kiddo. Yer mudder's gonna be busy fer awhile. I jus' dropped off 'er package from da Dockmaster's Office."